Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Bastard Rabbit Swine!
Ah, spring! When a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of blowing that bastard bunny rabbit into a million tiny scraps of fur for totally debarking the quince bush and the long-suffering plum tree! Furry little parcel of death! Miserable dark lightning of fruit tree fatality, flashing across the snow banks when I go out for firewood just before dawn! Small, soft angel of how I threw away $50 on those trees! I despise you! I will never again stop the cats from eating your children! I will encourage the cats to eat your children! And may fleas infest the pink satin linings of your ears! And may fruit tree bark upset your tiny stomach! Bastard rabbit swine!